No job is too big, no pup is too small, no lefty is too left!
If you don't have young kids and so you don't know what Paw Patrol is, it's a popular cartoon for small children about a 10-year-old named Ryder who leads six puppies and they all work together to solve problems and keep Adventure Bay safe and happy.
And this guy is a Canadian criminology professor and this is a real thing that he is really arguing:
Don't worry, I transcribed it for you.
Let's play a game — I want you to read what he wrote out loud and try not to laugh:
"Undertaking the case study of the popular animated children's series PAW Patrol, I find that crime is committed predominately by literal outsiders and that wrongdoers are temporarily warehoused or forced to engage in hard labor. In this world, politicians are presented as incompetent or unethical and the state ... relies on the PAW Patrol corporation to investigate crime, rescue non-human animals in states of distress, and recycle."
You already failed to not laugh, didn't you 😂 But wait, there's more:
"I argue that the series suggests to audiences that we can and should rely on corporations and technological advancements to combat crime and conserve, with responsibilized individuals assisting in this endeavor."
Hoo boy, get ready for the glorious conclusion:
"Ultimately, PAW Patrol echoes core tenets of neoliberalism and encourages complicity in a global capitalist system that (re)produces inequalities and causes environmental harms."
Look at this absolute hero. Just a stalwart, stoic warrior of justice, here to save us all from Paw Patrol.
Even though it seems that this Canadian national treasure could not do any more to make us smile today, being the hero that he is, he went and did an interview with CBC about the dastardly Paw Patrol, and there are several more uncut gems here for our amusement:
"I'll start with the depiction of the state. Mayor Humdinger and Mayor Goodway — kind of the representatives of the state or the government — are portrayed negatively. Mayor Humdinger is portrayed as unethical or corrupt. Mayor Goodway as hysterical, bumbling, incompetent."
Captain Statist is out here really trying to be serious about the way Mayor Humdinger is portrayed 🤣
"I would argue that the Paw Patrol, as a private corporation, is used to help provide basic social services in the Adventure Bay community. That's problematic in that the Paw Patrol creators are sending this message that we can't depend on the state to provide these services."
He even used the word "problematic" for us, right when we thought he couldn't sound any more like a Babylon Bee article.
"I just think that as time goes on, children might be less likely to critique the capitalist system that causes environmental harm in the first place and reproduces inequality."
To end in spectacular fashion, he references the Paw Patrol slogan, which is "No job is too big, no pup is too small":
"To me that's an individualist message. 'Pull up your boot straps, you can do it if you just try hard enough.' That kind of message ignores structural barriers in our society and not everyone can do it."
I have no idea if this fellow knows that he's the embodiment of nearly everything wrong with the world today, but at least, at the very least, he is here to bless us with some amazing humor.
Thank you, Mr. Kennedy 👨🍳👌
This has been a Comedy Break. Now back to your regularly scheduled news.
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