If there's one thing that I've never been, it's someone who is into conspiracy theories. Let's just run down the list:
- I don't believe that aliens exist. And if they did, I don't think they are any more capable of coming here than we are of going there.
- I don't have even the slightest inclination to believe that Area 51 holds anything but secret military equipment, prototypes, and experimental aircraft.
- I am quite confident that Bigfoot isn't real, and neither is the Chupacabra or Loch Ness Monster.
- I have never doubted the fact that Lee Harvey Oswald was the lone gunman that killed John F. Kennedy in Dallas.
- We landed on the moon in 1969 and any alternative theory is embarrassing.
- While I always thought it pointless and bizarre that President Obama wouldn't just release his official birth certificate, I believe the man was born in Hawaii.
- The government isn't poisoning people with chemtrails, nor are they "turning the freaking frogs gay."
- And no, Bush did not do 9/11.
Suffice it to say, I'll put my non-conspiracy-theory-believing bona fides up against anyone. But – and you knew there was a "but" coming – as much of a joke as what the "Epstein didn't kill himself" memes have become, I don't think it's absurd for thinking people to question it.
My unease with the official Epstein account is perhaps tied directly to the seriously depraved nature of his crimes. If you don't hold serial pedophilia as one of the most despicable behaviors an individual can engage in, I don't know what to say to you. Cases involving the sexual abuse of minors are always the moments where I drop to my knees and thank God that I'm not Him. What I would do to those guilty of such crimes is best kept to myself.
So maybe it is the unsettling concern I have that there were many in Epstein's circle who will now go unpunished for their heinous crimes that has me being unnecessarily paranoid. But the circumstances of his actual death also provoke legitimate doubts:
Subsequent reporting showed every kind of irregularity. No video surveillance. Falsified prison logs to cover for contract guards who literally slept on the job. Some marks on his body were more consistent with strangulation than hanging, it was said. This evidence could be resolved by reference to the desperate method by which he may have hanged himself. But author and journalist Walter Kirn summed up the mood of certain news watchers after Epstein's death, writing, "Sometimes paranoia just stands to reason."
Apparently the FBI is inclined to agree with Kirn, at least to the extent that they are now investigating whether a "criminal enterprise" was involved in Epstein's death.
And despite how much the mainstream media desperately wants us to, let's not forget that ABC's Amy Robach – the woman who had the full scoop on Epstein, his associates and co-conspirators three years ago – stated without equivocation her, "100 percent" belief that Epstein had been murdered.
I'm resigned to the reality that we won't ever know the truth for sure. But joking online memes aside, I think it's certainly a fair question to be raised, and that's both frightening and maddening all at once.
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